Pantaloonia!

Clearly, a battle is a-brewing. LORD CITRUS SELTZER calls on the people of CAPITALTOWN to join him in battle!   Thanks to his recent victory and penchant for almsgiving, LORD SELTZER's call to arms is answered with enthusiasm – The GUILD OF FORRESTERS, LUMBERJACKS, AND WOODWORKERS sends it's own GUILDMASTER FEZNIK and his 2 best lumberjacks, geared for war.   MASTER MOOLAH of the MERCHANTS' GUILD excuses himself from the battle... ...But sends an elite, armored CAVALRY LANCER in his stead, as well as an additional 2 WARHORSES for LORD SELTZER and his SQUIRE.   The BEGGARS' GUILD sends its own MASTER MENDICANT and 5 PANTSLESS VAGRANTS armed with clubs and sticks.   The LESSER GUILDS (Blacksmiths, Bricklayers, Basket Weavers, Beer Brewers, Mustache Waxers, Shampoo Crafters, Shoe Shiners, Turnip Twaddlers, etc.) pool their resources and provide 2 MUSKETEERS.   It is indeed a mighty army…   LORD CITRUS SELTZER dispatches his agents – SMILING NATE to contact ...

LORD JARRITOS DE TAMARINDO and his SQUIRE follow their mysterious new companion deeper into the strange dungeon. The tunnel path winds deeper and deeper into the darkness, each turn narrower than the last. Hours pass, or perhaps days… Just when it seems the tunnel could become no more claustrophobic, the path opens into a large cavern! "Look! Look, new friend! The secret stair!" A simple limestone staircase leads upwards. Faint daylight plays at its top. There's something more… The faint sound of marching feet. "Many bad Charlies about, new friend! We must arm ourselves!" He points a skeletal finger at the opposite wall. LORD JARRITOS turns to see a massive WEAPON STASH! "Take what you can, new friend! Then we go over the top!" There are many strange and powerful weapons to choose from… A crate of PISTOLS… These finely crafted firearms are smaller than anything LORD JARRITOS has seen before – small enough to carry in one hand. A PISTOL gets one-shot be...