Lord Citrus Seltzer Looks in a Well: House of the Beast 1
LORD CITRUS SELTZER rushes to investigate the faintly schlorping WELL, concerned that some poor soul may be drowning in its mysterious depths.
As he approaches with his volunteer army, the SCHLORPING grows in intensity and volume UNTIL SUDDENLY –
SCHLOOOOOOOORRRP!!!
AN ENORMOUS RED TENTACLE ERUPTS FROM THE WELL'S DEPTHS.
The army gasps as the hideous monstrosity rears up two, three, FOUR STORIES TALL!
THREAT LEVEL 10.
It scans the front line for a victim…
(A quick, randomized selection is made and…)
THE MONSTROUS CREATURE WRAPS ITSELF AROUND LORD CITRUS SELTZER – SEEKING TO DRAG HIM AND HIS STEED BACK INTO ITS WELL!
LORD SELTZER (Threat Level 6, thanks to his trusty steed) ISN'T GOING TO TAKE THIS SITTING DOWN!
(This is what a lucky roll looks like in Pantaloonia…)
Despite being massively outclassed…
LORD CITRUS SELTZER STRIKES A TREMENDOUS BLOW!
HE SHEERS OFF THE END OF THE FOUL TENTACLE!
AND FORCES THE REMAINDER TO RETREAT BACK INTO ITS WATERY LAIR.
The WELL continues to make schlorping noises – fainter, but still audible.
The severed tentacle tip lies twitching on the ground at the feet of his troops.
A mighty cry goes up from the army!
If so fearsome foe can be dispatched with a single strike, who dares stand against the might of West Luau?
But LORD SELTZER has little time for celebration. He surveys his surroundings…
Behind him, he sees the ancient PAGAN SHRINE. From this new angle, he can make out – are those blue-clad Panantaloonian soldiers inside? Could it be THE BLUE BASHERS?!
But that is not the only revelation.
Ahead lies the ROAD NORTH that leads to the towers and minarets of THE HOUSE OF THE BEAST. It is hard to tell at this distance, but… something is moving. Is that a BATTLE STANDARD?
On the left of the NORTH ROAD stands an ancient BURIAL MOUND, topped with a stone carving. The wind whistles through it, producing a deep, groaning sound that almost sounds like words…
PaaaaantaloooooooOOOOOOooooOOOOoonian...
On the right of the NORTH ROAD, the path forks; another branch runs into the JUNGLE and – SOMEONE IS IN THE JUNGLE.
LORD SELTZER is too far away to get an exact count, but another WAR BAND takes shelter in the jungle trees. They bear their leader aloft on a PALANQUIN…
As LORD SELTZER mulls over these new discoveries, a voice calls out to him –
Someone is hiding at the near edge of the JUNGLE.
PSSSSSSST! You want to rake in the big bucks, boyo? C'mere! I gots an h'opportunity for yas!
What will LORD SELTZER do?1. Chop up the writhing severed tentacle to make the world's largest calamari rings.
2. Order your MUSKETEERS to fire into the well.
3. Investigate the PAGAN SHRINE and find out if it really is THE BLUE BASHERS who stand inside it.
4. Investigate the groaning BURIAL MOUND.
5. Head down the NORTH ROAD and see who's BATTLE STANDARD you caught a glimpse of.
6. Investigate the JUNGLE and see what WAR BAND carries their leader in a PALANQUIN.
7. Approach the HIDING WOMAN and see what her "H'OPPORTUNITY" is.
8. Tear apart the farmhouse's FENCE and use the wood to try to BARRICADE the WELL shut.
9. Investigate the FARMHOUSE – it would be good to know if you have a defensible position to fall back to, should the need arise.
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