Lord Citrus Seltzer Goes Spelunking: House of the Beast 8

LORD CITRUS SELTZER gives his trusty Squire, the VILLAGE POOPSMITH, a battlefield promotion and sets him in charge of the PANTALOONIAN forces that stand atop the ANCIENT BURIAL MOUND.

Sending the newly knighted SIR POOPSMITH off with the troops to aid THE BLACK RUSSIAN and attack THE STEVE, LORD SELTZER enters the MOANING CAVERN alone and on foot.

The cries of battle overhead grow fainter and then disappear as LORD SELTZER journeys down, down, down into the deep and crushing black.


 

When he can no longer walk, he crawls, and when he can no longer crawl…




"I smell Christian blood."

The phantasm glows with an unearthly light.

 

"You have found me, Pantaloonian."

"Now, I must beg a boon of you."

"Oh, many times have I fought and many times fallen for the sake of your people."

"By burning, by the sword, by arrows and stones, by the self-consuming use of my own powers… all manner of death died I"

"Soft my soul would fly, back to this place of my ancient rule, drawn to the instrument of my power. Flesh from the earth would I take and blood from the stone, and be born anew, again to serve the land I once did tyrannize."

"Last I fought, facing the one who had been my grandest servitor. Smote down he was, but I too fell."

"Returned I to this place, but found the instrument of my power gone, seized by the agents of my foe. Without it, no more can I take flesh and blood. I sit, chained to this form, chained to this place, unable to leave the mound of my ancient burial."

"I feel its presence near… too tattered was my enemy to seize what his minions had stolen – they wait still for his arrival."

"Without my instrument of power, I am bound to the earth and stone of this place. I can venture not a single step. But you, Pantaloonian…"

"Give me this boon, Lord of Luau: journey through this secret cleft of rock, journey to the surface ruins, fight the agents of my foe, and bring back to me…"
"MY GOLDEN BANJO."


What will LORD SELTZER do?


1. Demand more exposition
You aren't doing favors for any ghost until you're certain he's an okay guy. Of course… if what he says is true, any time spent in expository Q&A gives his ENEMY more time to seize THE GOLDEN BANJO, Instrument of Power (TM).

2. Boon granted!
Choose to believe the ghost and charge through the secret cleft in the rock he showed you – time to stomp some minions and seize that GOLDEN BANJO.

3. Nice try, Beelzesatan!
Mama Seltzer didn't raise any fools – you're turning around and marching out of there.

4. Bound to the earth and stone, you say…?
So if I abandon a piece of my gear and carry a big rock around with me, you can come too? ...Try to come up with some rules-lawyery workaround to the ghost's imprisonment. Of course, you again risk giving his ENEMY time…

Or come up with your own crazy plan…


5. OTHER:________________________ 

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